Monday, February 27, 2012

Here we go again...

It seems like just yesterday I was starting the weekly weight loss posts.  That time, I was going to do it.  For once and for all I was going to lose the weight and keep it off.  I got down to just a few pounds away from my wedding weight.  I was looking better and feeling great.  Clothes were fitting better.  I had more energy.  I had more confidence.  I felt pretty darn good.

I never did reach my goal weight.  I met my goal of running a 5k.  I was so proud of myself that I did something that I always said I'd do *someday*.  And then....it all stopped.  I still can't believe it.  I ran the 5k and haven't run since.  The same morning I ran it, Eric left for a week on a hunting trip so I was home alone with the girls.  When he got back, I guess I got busy...or made excuses.  Then it got colder, and I had less and less incentive to go out. 

With the lack of running came the lack of motivation.  I started snacking more.  I didn't watch what I was eating.  I quit weighing myself.  I tried to ignore that the pants that were once to big for me two months prior were now getting too tight.  I didn't want to believe that I failed again.  Sure enough, I gained every.last.freaking.pound back.  Not only that, they brought a couple of buddies with to torment me.  

And so, here I am.  Starting over again.  I'm really pissed that I'm here again.  I'm made that there is a constant starting and stopping.  A constant roller coaster of monitoring, then eating whatever I want, to feeling good to feeling sluggish.

So, where does that leave me now.  I turn 30 in less than 5 months.  I am a bit freaked out on that, which is a whole other post in itself.  Until then, I've decided that I want to go into my 30s feeling good.  Looking good.  Feeling confident.  I'm sick of looking in my closet for something to wear that will look ok.  I want to grab anything and know that it WILL look ok.  I see so many styles that I'd love to wear, but feel like I can't.  I hope to have better luck this time.  I've said the same before, but what is life without mistakes?  The bigger thing is to just get up and try again.  

I *started* my new diet on January 1st with my 2 sister in laws.  I slacked off course.  I've been using my fitness pal and tracking everything I've been eating.  The barcode scanner is an awesome tool. The first week of tracking everything, I lost 2.5 pounds.  I then found out that the calorie goal it gave me was way too low.  I found out I was having trouble losing weight because I wasn't eating enough.  Honestly, WTH.  Why is this so confusing?

I upped my calorie intake, and would find myself eating when I wasn't hungry.  My mind is a funny thing.  I'd see the remaining calories, and think, "Well, it says I need to eat, so I'll eat."  I wasn't going by my hunger cues.  I started to snack because it says I could.  That's not going to be the right way either.

I think this is going to be a trial and error thing.  I need to get my exercise in, and make good meal choices.  Clean meal choices.  

I am going to try to restart my weekly weight loss posts.  It's a good incentive for me to know that y'all can see when I do well, and when I'm slacking.  Fingers crossed for the first one.  

Here we go again... 



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8 comments:

  1. you will figure it out!  Just give yourself a chance and don't be too hard on yourself :)

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  2. In my experience (and from what I've heard from others!) is that it takes awhile to find your personal groove and what works for you.  I'm sure you'll find it soon!  And you go - a 5K!  I wish I had someone to do one with! :)

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  3. Well, if it is any consolation, I have completely fallen off the wagon. So, today, I begin again - more exercise, less junk food, tracking what passes these lips. UGHH - But i will always love you and be proud of you:)
    Mom

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  4. Good luck to you! I know how frustrating it is. It sucks. 

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  5. We can train for a 5K together!! You can do it! I thought I couldn't do it and I did it!! Good luck:)

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  6. I'm trying to lose some, too.  I am losing, but painfully slowly.  I get so tried of dieting and counting calories.  For me, it seems there is no maintaining - it i either dieting or gaining.  Anyway, I feel your frustration and wish you luck!  

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  7. Don't beat yourself up. I know how easy it is to get off track. I've started back on my weight loss plan too. The first month, I was so excited because I lost 16.5 pounds! In the last two weeks, I've just watched the scale go up and down like a yo-yo. I'll be sure and check back often, maybe you can inspire me to keep with it too!

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