Monday, August 29, 2011

Shifts in Perspectives

I was thinking back yesterday to a conversation I had with my brother when I was in high school.  I was telling him that when I grew up, I wanted to be a powerful business mogul.  I wanted to be a CEO, in a big corner office making lots of money.  I was going to move somewhere, like NYC.  He tried to tell me that you don’t get to that spot without giving up a lot in your life.  You usually will have to sacrifice your time and unfortunately, your family.  At 17, that was the last thing on my mind.  I wanted the glamour, the power, and most of all the money.
Fast forward 12 years (holy crap!  How can it be 12 years already?!?  Gulp, I am getting older…) and it’s very much the opposite.  I’m a working mom now, and just trying to balance everything as best as I can.  If you would’ve asked me when I was 17, or even 4 or 5 years ago if I would ever think of being a stay at home mom, I would’ve laughed at you.  I thought I was ‘better’ than that.  That I had more to ofter.  That staying home would’ve been wasting the college degree that I worked hard for.
Now?  That would be my dream.  All of the things I despised, like cooking, cleaning, cutting coupons, I am starting to really enjoy.  I am finding a new purpose in my life.  Before, I wouldn’t think twice to look at two different stores to see which had the best deals.  I would buy what I wanted and that was that.  I’d never think to find the pleasure in trying to make something myself.  Why try to make it, when I can just buy it?  My time is worth money.  My time is worth more than that.  The funny part of that?  The time that I was so concerned with wasting?  That precious time was probably spent watching reality TV, or something equally unimportant.  I laugh looking back and thinking I didn’t have time.  And you know, when the girls are older and involved in more sports and if we end up adding to our family, I’ll probably laugh looking back at how I thought I was busy now.
My dream of the ideal career has shifted from the corner office on the bazillionth floor in Manhattan to play dates and story times in my quant little home.  I’d love to stay home and have tea parties with my princesses.  To take them to the library for story time.  To go to the Children’s Museum and music classes instead of meetings and paperwork.  At this point, I don’t believe it’s in the cards for us and that’s ok.  If you told me when I was 17 that this is where I’d be in life, I would’ve been really disappointed in myself.  You know what?  No red bottom shoes could replace the feeling I get when I hear my girls giggling together though.  My time is worth more than that.  {Although, if someone wanted to buy me some shoes as a gift, I wouldn’t turn them down.  Just sayin’. ;) }

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1 comment:

  1. Oh.My.Goodness. We sure do have a lot in common. I had the same dreams of big successes. Now my definition of success has changed a lot.

    I still struggle with working and wonder someday if I'll get the chance to stay home. I hope so but until then I just try to do my best at work so I get a paycheck and have a full heart when I am home :)

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